Episode One: Sex and the City

Watch date: 2/2/2011

Intro Credits: What is this music? Is this a samba? A Mambo? A Sambo? Why is Carrie wearing a tutu? Does she have a bra on under that shirt? Oh look – she got sprayed by a puddle as a car pulls up and she looks apprehensive. Is this some sort of life metaphor? Where are the other girls?

The episode begins with Carrie typing/narrating, “Once upon a time.” We are introduced to some characters that I don’t believe end up in the show long term. Some chic who came from London to NY and some douchebag high profile guy who likes to wear a blue tooth at work. They meet at an art exhibit and they have a hot and heavy fling for two weeks. He then takes her to look at apartments and asks her if she wants to have dinner w/ his parents. She sees this as a sign of long term interest. (Really? After two weeks?) He then proceeds to blow her off. All of this is set to a jazzy sax tune that is completely corny. The woman laments to her friend Carrie who we see from behind as she stubs out her cigarette.

Carrie wonders (to the camera) why there are so many single women and no single men. Cut to confessional moments with single people in the city. Men talking about why they think certain kinds of women are still single. (They won’t lower their standards, all they want is marriage, it’s all about biology, etc.) One even states that women should just marry a fat man and get it over with if they are looking for marriage. The women meanwhile say they shouldn’t have to lower their standards - (Miranda – attorney), you have to downplay your intentions ladies - (Charlotte – art dealer) and you have to not care - (Samantha – slutbag. Ooops – I mean PR Executive.) As these confessional moments occur, the name of the character is flashed onscreen with their work position and marital status. Because really – that’s all that matters, right ladies? Our profession and our sexual status.

Enter Stanford Blatch – Carrie’s gay friend. I don’t know why she knows this man. Come to think of it she doesn’t explain how she knows her girl friends either. She has lunch with him where she sees someone named Curt Harrington – an old “mistake” of hers that she admits to falling for several times. And while she admits to not feeling anything for him she approaches him anyway despite Stanford’s attempts to wave her off the man’s scent. She claims she wants to conduct an experiment and sleep with him “like a man.” For descriptive purposes, I have to add that Curt Harrington has a very small nose and big teeth. For some reason he reminds me of Andrew Jackson but with a backstreet boys haircut. And he wears a thumb ring. I don’t know what this means. But I do know that the interlude Carrie has with him makes me uncomfortable. He makes no eye contact with her while she simpers and tells him how great he looks. Line two is her asking of him, “are you seeing anyone right now?” Who asks that? I realize she’s cutting to the chase for the sake of her pet project here but man…it’s painful to hear. And I can’t stop thinking that Carrie’s hair looks like she could be a double for Marge Simpson’s sister Selma.




Carrie makes an arrangement to sleep with Curt later that afternoon. She cuts him off ummmm coitus interruptus? ( after he takes care of her.) She dashes out and says maybe they can do it again sometime and leaves the experience feeling completely empowered. As she comes out of this sexcapade, she drops her purse and bumps into Chris Noth (character name unknown). He helps her pick up the items from her purse, which of course contains about 10 condoms. Yeah – that sounds about right. Who doesn’t keep ten in there on any given day? She also happens to be wearing the shortest skirt on planet, and makes sure to give him the over the shoulder double take as she walks away from him.

Carrie then has dinner with Skipper – why is she friends with a man named Skipper? Why does he seem to have a perm? As they discuss life over milkshakes (aw, how cute for Skipper) he tells her that it’s been a year since he’s had sex and he thinks it’s because he’s too sensitive. What straight man talks like this guy? What straight man has a female friend who doesn’t tell him to cut this hair off? And Of COURSE Carrie pushes him on Miranda. Because poor bitter lonely Miranda should be so lucky with her mannish haircut and bad power suits.

The girls then go to some club called Chaos. It’s supposed to be the “crème de la crème” (Carrie’s description, not mine) and she likens it to Cheers where everyone knows your name – except that they will forget it in 5 minutes. This place looks exactly like Cheers if you would make it about five times as large, add a dance floor, play techno music, and only allow in models. So yeah – that’s the same.

Meanwhile Miranda and Skippy are on a date. She’s completely overly critical and needs to dust off her vagina – she is eating Skipper alive just because he keeps agreeing with her and it’s clear to me that it’s because she is a lonely accomplished woman who hasn’t been laid in a very long time because she’s too smart for any man to be comfortable with.

Charlotte is not at Cheers. She’s on a date with Copote Duncan. Carrie calls this man an unattainable bachelor. I call him an unbelieveable prick.) Charlotte wants to play hard to get but still goes home with him despite his cheesy lines and bad taste in art. I fail to see what his redeemable qualities are, other than perhaps he has a pulse. And a penis. But the show doesn’t really seem to give us the opportunity to get to know these men really. It’s kind of like a ferris wheel that way. Charlotte lets the dude kiss her but tells him she wants to go home because she needs to get up early. He hails her a cab so she can go home, but then he jumps in the cab with her so he can get dropped off at Cheers, stating that he respects her decision to go home but insists he needs to have sex tonight. Gross.

Carrie ends up running into Curt at Chaos who tells her how glad he is that she now seems to understand the kind of relationship he wants to have now that she’s “slept with him like a man.” He says he’s looking forward to her calling him whenever she needs to. Carrie looks disgusted as she watches him head to another woman and kiss her. I guess this means she can’t have sex like a man afterall?

The man who helped her in the street with her condoms is at Cheers. Samantha points him out and calls him “Mr. Big” because he’s some sort of well-to-do hotshot. When Carrie doesn’t immediately express an interest, Samantha decides to pour herself all over him. Mr. Big does not take the bait and turns her down.

Miranda ends her date telling Skipper that it’s not going to work but Skippy forces a kiss and Miranda doesn’t resist.

Samantha, meanwhile, ends up going home with Capote (I am going to assume she did not know that Charlotte had a date with him that very evening?) Capote tells her he has to get up really early so she can’t stay over. She says she also has to get up early so that’s fine with her, although as he slides down her body we see her face change from the tough as nails look she usually gives to something more disturbed – dost the slutbag have feelings too? They do it and we are given a silhouetted shot of Samantha topless as she rides Capote.

Carrie looks for a taxi outside Cheers and up drives Mr. Big who tells her to “get in the car already.” When he asks her what she does for a living, she tells him she’s a sexual anthropologist. WHAT? (As someone who IS an anthropologist, I don’t even know what this means. I can’t decide if I am offended or intrigued.) She claims she is doing a study on women who can have sex like a man. She asks him if he can do that – have sex without emotional attachment. He says no. She doesn’t believe him. He says it’s because she’s never been in love before. This makes her say she feels like she has the wind knocked out of her. In order to portray this they do a slow motion pause on screen. She exits the car but knocks on the window to ask him if he’s ever been in love. His response? “Absofuckinglutely.” He rolls up the window and drives off. The line was so cheesy that I groaned.

And roll credits.

Okay so the concept is good. Some independent women making it on their own, trying to figure out what it is they want, what it is the opposite sex want, and whether or not they want to give it to them. AND what it means if they do, in fact, give it to them. Whether I agree with the particular interests of the characters does not matter much I guess. We can all relate to being in a place in our lives where we were trying to find out more about ourselves and the world around us. So while I may not like the execution or the cheesy dialogue thus far, I will continue watching. I am intrigued.