Okay, before I start in on Episode 6, let me return to episode 5 for a sec and say that I am not exactly speechless. It really bothers me that the episode broached the fact that Carrie clearly has money issues and then didn’t do anything with it, other than explain it away by blaming it on her shoe fetish. (Well, that’s what she told Gile the issue was anyway.) Again here I think, this woman is in her mid 30’s and she’s avoiding her financial problems despite the fact that the rest of her life is supposed to be so put together – her fashion, her shoes, her job. Unless SATC breaks her down and makes her realize it’s all a way of her coping to not face the reality that she has no ability to manage her own life, including her financial affairs – which I doubt. I guess that between the part when she threw her bills and late notices in the trash without taking action, and the part where she walked around with her coat hanging off of her shoulders, I just keep thinking that HBO is trying to push her off on us as a manic pixie dream girl. These girls never grow up, have eccentric quirks, and are “unabashedly girlish” (according to wiki). I think we’ve hit on something here. If this is the case for Carrie’s character, then really her purpose is to bolster the men in the episodes. It’s kind of like she’s the catalyst in chemistry, urging the reaction along but not getting used up herself.
And that’s all I’ll say about that for now.
Okay, so episode 6.
The episode begins with Carrie rolling around on a bed in a photo shoot for the creation of a promotional photo for her column. It’s scheduled to run on side of a bus. As Sarah Jessica Parker (oops, I mean, Carrie) rolls around on this bed in a nude colored dress, I can’t help but think of all of my favorite photo shoots of newspaper columnists. Oh, wait. Nevermind. She says any misgivings she has about doing the shoot are mollified when they tell her she can keep the dress.
Friday night the girls come over to live vicariously through her date with Big. It seems they finally have one. A real one. And she’s decided to wear the dress from the shoot. So yeah, it’s this creamy/pinky/taupey colored, barely there number that stops 2 inches below her cooch and she’s not wearing a bra. Where are they going on this date? Where can you go in public in this outfit? You can basically see everything. And this is not just me saying that. Miranda calls it “tits on toast.” Char calls it the naked dress and says that Carrie is obviously going to have sex with him.
Charlotte is concerned because it’s their first date – they shouldn’t have sex on the first date because she’s serious about him. (Well, this should be no problem since supposedly Carrie has that rule about no sex on the first date…oh hold up. It was no sex with a man she’s only known a day. Aw shit. She’s having sex.) Here I have to once again draw attention to the horrificness that is Miranda’s outfit. She is wearing gray jogging pants, a white tank top without a bra, (is there a BRA SHORTAGE in NY?) and a yellow sweatshirt draped over her shoulders. Is she going to play bra-less tennis? Miranda’s response to Charlotte is, “oh god here she goes again with the rules.” Sam adds that she thinks these are rules put him place by women who can’t get laid. She, meanwhile, is wearing a black halter pantsuit that reminds me of an outfit my sister had for her Cher doll.
Char thinks there should be a holding pattern for five dates, but says there’s some math involved because the holding pattern goes up based on age. Miranda once again says “fuck.” She takes the 3 date approach. Char insists it’s too soon. This is when Sam gives them reality check. “Men can just as easily dump you if you fuck ‘em on the first date as on the tenth.” Boom ladies – that just happened to you. Life has no guarantees. The girls want to know when Sam has ever been on a tenth date, and Char says that at least by then you’re emotionally involved. (Wait – what? By then you’re emotionally involved when he dumps you? or by then you’re emotionally involved when you have sex?) Sam says it’s better to find out if the sex is good at the beginning, while Charlotte thinks the Victorians are onto something – romance. Ha. Yeah…those Victorians and their romance. So the prudish inhibitions and traditions of the Victorian era is actually code for romance? Oh wait – maybe she’s thinking of the rise of prostitution and wide sweeping venereal disease?
Carrie says to rest easy, she’s not going to sleep with him. But then she admits to the camera that she’s dying to sleep with him –“but isn’t delayed satisfaction the definition of maturity?” She puts on the horrendous fur coat she wears as one of her staple pieces and heads out. This coat looks like it was made from the fur of a meow mix cat. With mange.
Big is waiting at the car door. As she approaches him with her mange falling off her shoulders he says, “interesting dress.” They get in the car and as she’s adjusting this nude dress and mange monstrosity in the back seat of the car (because he has a driver) he says “don’t worry – I’m perfectly capable of restraining myself.” What? These are the first words you speak on a first date? That’s kind of making some assumptions there buddy. Although, then again, she is going on a date naked. She responds, “So am I.” They immediately begin making out. And then in the next scene they are on the floor next to his bed and she’s slept with him. Well there goes that.
They are lying there and she’s got her head on his shoulder and she thinks she won’t be the first person to speak and if he never calls her again she will always think of him fondly – as an asshole. And then of course she opens her mouth – “that was really…I mean can you believe we really…on the first date?” Oh man. A) she didn’t have this problem with Gile and B) If you’re going to go there and do it on the first date, channel your inner Samantha and grow some lady balls. Instead she gives him a look of embarrassment. She continues, “I didn’t plan that you know – what do you think?” Well…I’m not to certain that you DIDN’T plan it…but whatever. And then she asks him what he thinks? Gah. That’s like the kiss of death. Why are these conversations and dialogues so forced? He says, “I thought it was pretty fucking great – but what do I know?” I don’t even know what this is supposed to mean. Is he offended? Was he expecting a rave review? He asks her if she wants to go have Szechuan, which of course makes Carrie wonder if dinner is a diversionary tactic so she doesn’t stay over.
At the restaurant they run into her “pal” Mike Singer. So six episodes in, her only recurring friends are the girls, Skippy, and Stanford (we haven’t seen him in a few episodes though.) I wonder if this Mike guy will be on any other episodes. She says she’s known him for 10 years and the reason they haven’t slept together is because they want to know each other for another ten. Hmm. So you get the sex arithmetic when it comes to friendships. That’s a start. Unfortunately, Mike brushes her off without introducing her to the girl he’s with, who seems ecstatic to meet her.
Meanwhile Miranda kicks a man in the face in her kickboxing class. The man on the other end of the kick ends up to be Ted Baker – 32 yrs old, sports medicine Dr. with an apartment looking over the Natural History museum. He’s had 3 prior relationships, none of which resulted in marriage. On the walk home from kickboxing, he says she can buy him dinner to pay him back for the kick. She kisses him on the forehead and he asks if he can call her because he wants to go out this week. She automatically worries that it’s too quick. Wait – what? Now they are asking you out too quickly? Oy vay.
Carrie meets up with her pal Mike at Bed Bath and Beyond to help him pick out sheets and she asks him what the deal was with his date. He admits that he doesn’t date her openly, despite the fact that she’s smart, sweet and the sex is great. He doesn’t see himself with her. Ummm…what’s the problem? he then says the reason he doesn’t see himself with her long term is because three months ago he was dumped by a woman who was a cellist for the philharmonic (what this has to do with anything, I have no idea). He was feeling vulnerable when he meets the new girl selling cheese at a specialty shop. He’s feeling very vulnerable and needy and so he goes out with her. He finds that he’s very uninhibited b/c he doesn’t think she’s that gorgeous so there’s no pressure. He’s very at ease and relaxed and thinks she’s the only person he’s ever met that he could just be himself around. Wait – how is this explaining why he can’t be with her? Carrie must be on the same page b/c she says “what’s the problem?” And bam - you guessed it. He says it’s because she’s not beautiful. But he quickly adds that they don’t have a lot in common (this despite the fact that they are both passionate about cooking.) He keeps going on about how warm and unpretentious she is and how it’s the best sex he’s ever had in his life. His eyes are all lit up. Carrie asks him if he’s afraid of what other people will think. He says he knows she’s not the right woman for him in the larger sense so he keeps her a secret. WHAT LARGER SENSE? It sounds to me like you’ve just checked off every single desirable element for a lasting relationship and yet you know you can’t be with her? God – it’s like Costanza wanting a woman with thick lustrous hair. What is it about male expectations that are so skewed? I’ve met some male friends who fancy themselves ending up with a gorgeous trophy wife and I just want to smack them out of it and say “Hey Costanza – YOU’RE BALD?” Carrie can’t decide if he’s being shallow or honest. She wants to know how many people are having great sex w/ people they are ashamed to introduce to friends?
Carrie asks Sam if she’s ever had great sex with someone I didn’t want to admit to? She says of course, but then proceeds to list off a jazz musician in queens (heard it), a window washer (heard it), a gorgeous kid in Spy Bar who turned out to be in high school (and heard it.)
Carrie and Sam unveil Carrie’s photo shoot poster in Carrie’s living room and Sam thinks they should celebrate the occasion by having a toast when the bus runs. She says Carrie should invite big but Carrie hasn’t heard from him since the sex. (I can’t decide if it’s the next day though or what, so I don’t know if I’m supposed to be offended for her.) Sam then asks if Charlotte ever told Carrie about sleeping with the rabbi.
They then go to Charlotte’s gallery to ask about it and it turns out he was a Hasidic folk artist from Brooklyn that Char met with to see if she wanted to get something for the gallery. Char was intoxicated by his talent, strangeness and the smell of his wool. (Oh brother.) She does him right there in his artists studio. WHAT? WHAT? So she goes from being a firm believer in not having sex on the first date to droppin it like it’s hot on a first meeting? I don’t understand. And wait a minute – now that I’m thinking of it, whatever happened to Brian, the “up the butt” guy? They seemed to be okay once she set him straight on how she only wanted to do it regular style. I guess he’s out now. But back to the Jew. She said she didn’t introduce him to her friends b/c she was embarrassed that they couldn’t really date. Okay, but you’re telling me that you wouldn’t even TELL your friends about it? I call bullshit on this one. And Sam says if the sex is good, what does it matter? I am starting to like the slutbag more and more.
Carrie types at her computer and ponders whether secret sex is an ultimate form of intimacy, existing in a pure state away from world or emotional compartmentalization. Before she can grapple with her latest philosophical quandary, Big calls her. “Do you miss me yet?” She says “who is this?” Ah land line phones without caller id! How quaint! He calls to ask her for dinner and a movie (but maybe skip the movie. She gives a wink to the camera that she thinks she has skipped the sex on the first date curse. I’m not sure I’m with her on this – I mean, he just freely admitted that he wants to put sex into the equation of the second date…I’m really not too sure how seriously he wants to take this. (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but clearly Carrie does want to be serious about it.)
So, date two, they walk arm in arm down a street. She’s wearing black pinstripe high water pants, a gray vneck man sweater, and a blue jacket with a red and white scarf. She looks like she bought her clothes at Goodwill. Big is wearing black jeans – is he European? – and a black polo shirt with a calf length navy trench. Man is this guy mid-40’s in the 90’s or what? And is he always in navy of some kind? She’s about to invite him to her bus unveiling but then they run into some people on the street and he doesn’t introduce her to them so she gets salty and doesn’t go there. What? Who cares. Maybe those people don’t matter. Maybe he doesn’t remember one of their names? Why don’t you just follow it up with a “so, who was that?” and be done with it?
She says she tries not to let it bother her. But she also tries not to let it bother her that he takes her back to Fung Wa. He feeds her off his chopsticks. He says he can’t make it to her party. She says she wants to introduce him to some of her friends. He says, with a twinkle in his eye, “I’ll be home later if you miss me.” Aw man. You really did yourself good with that first date. She looks around the room and thinks it smells like a cheap date that you don’t want anyone to meet. She tells him she’s on a deadline and she has to get home where she proceeds to call Mike. She asks if Fung Wa is an obscure place to go on a date. He confirms that it’s a place men take women they don’t want to be seen with. Ouch.
Next morning for Miranda – she’s waking up in Ted Baker’s apartment. Whoah – so I guess that means your date went well despite you worrying it was too soon to go on one? And what happened to our poor, pining Skippy? Is he still around? Ted is leaving for a conference for the day but tells her to stay. Unlike the thing with Gile/Carrie, he is very earnest about seeing her again and tells her she can stay as long as she likes. He asks if they can do something later that same night.
As soon as the deadbolt locks and he’s gone, Miranda ransacks the apartment. Like going through dresser drawers and shit. REALLY? SERIOUSLY? Are you 18? Be a grown up woman, take a glance around to get your bearings/the measure of the man, and leave. But nope. Instead she digs around and finds a video called “Spanked” in his drawer. She TAKES IT and watches it with Carrie. She says she can’t admit she’s found it because then he’ll know she looked in his stuff, but she isn’t sure if she wants to see him anymore, claiming that “Obviously this is what he’s into.” Carrie takes a more practical approach – maybe it’s just his fantasy life. CRIKEY these people! There was only one video in that drawer Miranda. One. It’s not like he’s obsessed with getting spanked and it’s not like it was cued up in his VCR! Maybe it was a gag gift. Maybe it’s from a former relationship and his partner was into it. Maybe he bought it on a fluke. Maybe, just maybe, he likes being spanked and suddenly you’re not so abrasive and candid about sex, are you Miranda?
Char, Carrie Sam and Miranda gather in the street with party hats to toast the bus. They drink champagne on the street – is this allowed? Char reckons that Big isn’t showing because Carrie slept with him on the first date. I reckon that it’s because they’ve only gone out twice and that’s way too soon to be putting the friend pressure on anyone you’re dating – sex or no!!! Carrie’s friend Mike shows up and admits that he actually invited the girlfriend to join him IN PUBLIC but she turned him down. She said she met someone else who doesn’t have his problems with intimacy. Ha. Tough break Mike. Welcome to the world of adulthood – it’s a really nice place to visit. This is what grown up relationships are like – in public.
So the bus finally shows up and someone’s drawn a huge penis on the side of it so it looks like it’s going into Carrie’s mouth. This is fantastic. Carrie is crestfallen. Sam says, “Nobody in NY notices a bus until it’s about to hit them.” Ouch. So does this mean that someone didn’t like her column? Or just wanted to draw a penis? Or put one on every bus in the city? Maybe it was the dress she was wearing. Obviously Big couldn’t resist when he saw her, maybe the penis wouldn’t have been drawn on the picture if she wasn’t wearing that dress?
Miranda has another great evening with Ted when he gets back, and is starting to rethink her decision to cut him off. Ted says he missed her while he was gone. She’s delighted and can’t believe it. He says, “I must’ve been waiting for a good kick in the head.” She gets this mischievous look on her face and says “I thought you were just waiting for a good spanking.” And she pats his butt!!! He looks at her incredulously and says “Excuse me?” She doesn’t back down. She says, “you heard me,” With this know-it-all look on her face. He suddenly looks very uncomfortable and proceeds to walk ahead of her. Doesn’t take her home, doesn’t return her calls or take her messages and she never sees him again. HA SERVES HER RIGHT!
Carrie drunkenly shows to Big’s place to give him a piece of her mind and say goodbye to him (after massive amounts of champagne.) Her knocking wakes him up and he stumbles to the door with disheveled hair, tshirt, pajama pants, and a robe on. She tells him that if he’s too embarrassed then they can’t see each other. She goes on a rant as she pours herself some vodka from his liquor cabinet, splashing it all over, going on about how he won’t introduce her takes her to places where they won’t be seen, won’t meet her friends…it’s totally ridiculous. She says he’s fitting her into a niche of a particular fragment of a woman he wants to date. He says he’s only gotten to know a particular fragment. Touché. Seriously here. They’ve been on two dates and she’s got the moxie to try to call him out for where the relationship is going? This is unbelievable. If this happened in the real world, this man would not call you back.
Big, however, goes on to tell her that he thinks Fung Wa has the best Chinese in town so that’s why he wanted to go there. He says he didn’t remember the name of the guy they saw in the street (ha! I knew it!), and he had courtside tickets to the Knicks game when she wanted him to meet her friends. Her response to this is even more unbelievable. No apology, no tail between the legs, nothing. Instead she says, “so you and me – then maybe this is for real?” WHO SAYS THAT AFTER TWO DATES? He says “Could be.” Pulls her in for a kiss and they head to bed.
And scene.
I’ll keep this brief because it was a long write up and I feel like I’ve already given a lot of my opinions along the way here. But I’m assuming from this point on she will be dating Big in some capacity or another since I know they continue their relationship throughout the course of the show. And I still don't really like him or know why we are supposed to want these two characters to be together. I don't know who this man is, what his interests or hobbies are, what he's like, what he does for a living, if he's good to his mother - nothing. And, as predicted, this episode did not reassess Carrie’s financial issues, although I’m sure they are far from over. So keep deluding yourself there Carrie. I am sure rent money is no big deal as long as you’ve got Dolce’s on your feet, right? Or maybe it won’t matter to her now that she’s got Big? I mean – he does have money. Will this bring her any closer to the concerns she had about turning into an Amalita? Or will it be okay as long as she’s got her column? Will her face continue to have penis drawn on it?
Halfway through Season One. I need to pick up the pace or I’ll never make it through.
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